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Jesus walked on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through dry land.

Jesus walked on water. Chuck Norris walked on Jesus.

They say a journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step, but for Chuck Norris, a journey of 1,000 miles IS a single step.

God said, 'Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, 'Say please.'

The fastest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. No one slaps Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth, then boils the water with his own rage.

-Chuck Norris had a the idea to sell is own piss

and it was called red bull

-Chuck Norris once won a staring contest

against the sun

-Chuck Norris and the Hulk once got into a fight

the loser had to paint themselves green

-when Chuck Norris left home he told his dad

"now your the man of the house "

"When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he already had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris."

"Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a baby: Once on Hiroshima, once on Nagasaki."
qualakon
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